Lockdown living

Flipping through ig stories during fragments of my time is a new bad habit that I'd been picking up lately. Instead of picking up a book, reading the bible, learning some new vocabs or phrases, or even getting the house chores done, ig stories and vlogs had slowly become first priorities. *smacks own head*

Couldn't help exclaiming when I saw instagram post of youtubers on staycation for RM 1500+ per night, or when this vlogger got herself a new set of ceramic bowls priced at an unbelievable price, or or or when someone had this new Dyson hairdryer, this Nintendo switch, this Candour hair mist. Exclaimed more when another friend had salmon for lunch and dinner 7 times a week. Salmon has always been a luxury for me, just like how Wagyu beef has been the more luxurious food that I dare not imagine how nice it would taste. *drools*

And then the picture shifts. Read about an old man in Penang who had been sifting through dumpsites for food. Another few stories about people jumping off buildings or burning charcoals because their sole income had been cut off. Then heard about how my aunt originally in the tourism sector had been going around begging people to support her new food business. Couldn't bear to read stories like these, tried imagining myself going a month without food and shelter, shivered at the thought of it. I don't think I can even handle one week. Though I'm not born with a golden spoon, well perhaps a bronze spoon, I don't think I have what it takes to survive when put in the same situation as them. 

They are really, really brave people. Fighting through rain and shine to survive. Before Covid-19 hits, seldom would these thoughts crossed my mind. But ever since last year, thoughts like this surfaced every single day. Yes, every single day. Because your Facebook page is totally flooded with it you couldn't even escape. The probability of news like this is 90 out of 100. It's an alarm God has sounded in the hearts of every human. There's more to life than luxurious living. Every single day when it's time for reflection, it's just the same thought over and over again, about how much of a spendthrift I have been throughout all these years. About how grateful and blessed I am to have food to eat, a bed to sleep and a roof for shelter. Just the necessities. Are more than enough.

Again human nature always asks for the best, takes the best. That's why it's completely understandable when I see people around me taking only the best. Because they worked hard for it. It's their hard earn money anyway they deserve to get themselves a good treat too. Because I once could not understand too. Thought about a quote I had read in Mother Theresa's biography a few years back, "Live simply so that others can live simply". It has successfully stay stuck with me for a few years. Made a deep impression back then, 'cause I remembered thinking "how on earth can anyone do this?" and  "This is too hard." But all too suddenly, when lockdown living started, I had kinda started living simply, and then this realization hits, "hey it's not that hard after all". But why? Why was it not easier before? Why was it easier now? I have thought and thought and thought. The only conclusion I arrived at was this: that I no longer placed myself at the center of living. That suddenly, there are more important matters than self. With this in mind everything seems a little easier than before.

I guess that's how my mum can insist on wearing simple T-shirt and blue jeans to church every Sunday for most part of my life when everyone else dressed up nicely in dresses, skirts, khakis and jumpsuits. And I guess that's how my dad insisted that birthday celebrations are just another normal day and are not meant for parties and celebrations and cakes, but on thinking about the needs of other people. We 3 sisters had always grumbled about this back then, but thinking back, I guess this is a life lesson being shown to us back then. Indeed, the best education you can give to your children is your life testimony. Both of them had something greater in their hearts than self. That's why they can live. Simple. And simply. These are their legacies haha! So proud of them. Hopefully I can carry this legacy forward to future generations *throws confetti*

Shall end this post with this message my mum shared in the family group on her birthday last month: 

"May we always remember those who are less fortunate during this pandemic, that God will protect, comfort and be their source of strength."