2024 Reflection

2024 has come and gone.
"Time, the devourer of all things, has this one particularity: it makes everything seem so fleeting." – Paulo Coelho

If I were to summarize, this year would be a year of breakthroughs, as I experienced so many "firsts" that I never imagined possible.

#1 Breakthrough:

For the first time, I reached out to Pusat Kebajikan Wawasan JB as a school counselor to ask for their help in assisting underprivileged students and families facing difficulties. This idea came thanks to a senior colleague, also a school counselor. She will be retiring in February, and I truly can't imagine the challenges our counseling unit will face once she retires, but let's not dwell on that for now. We'll leave the worrying to when it happens, haha.

I still remember asking her after a home visit, “How do you communicate with parents so well?” Every time I saw her confidently communicate with parents, even when facing angry and uncontrollable ones, she never panicked, stood her ground, and could successfully convince them, even leaving parents in tears (tears of gratitude). She shared a simple piece of advice that everyone has probably heard before: practice more, visit more homes, talk more, and eventually, you’ll get better at it. She’s a Tzu Chi volunteer and regularly visits many families during her spare time. At that moment, I understood that counseling can’t rely solely on one individual, but with the support of a team, many things could be easier. Also, to practice, I could do more home visits too! So, with unexpected courage, I reached out to Pusat Kebajikan Wawasan JB (PKW is a registered society [PPM-024-01-26092001] for community care in Johor Bahru, also a charity organization established by the church). I sent a simple WhatsApp message introducing myself, and to my surprise, the person in charge immediately arranged a call. I still remember talking for two hours with Shirley, and that’s how my home visit journey began!

I would provide the details of students I thought needed visits, and then we would arrange the visits together. There was a lot of preparation involved, like asking the parents for permission, introducing the NGO, explaining how the group could help, etc. After the visit, the team would meet to discuss suitable solutions. Since it’s a Christian group, everyone would pray for the families we visited, entrusting them to God's care because they knew that Pusat Kebajikan’s success was not due to our own wisdom or strength, but through God’s guidance. The volunteers are not just idle; many are registered counselors, and some even have supervisor licenses. But everyone understands that without God, we are nothing. This humility is something I admire from them. After the home visits, we had to continually comfort and update the families, for it can be quite a long wait while discussing the right plan (up to 2 weeks), letting them know that we hadn’t given up and were still following up. Although the process could be quite exhausting and also involved most of my weekends, I’m forever grateful to have had the opportunity to meet such a loving team, to learn, and to grow together.

If you find yourself struggling and need help, reach out to them at Pusat Kebajikan Wawasan JB (free counseling service). Disclaimer: I'm not a member, I'm just a school counselor asking for their help :)

"I think there’s always a moment in your life when you realize that everything you thought would happen, never does. That’s when you either give up, or you keep going."
– Beartown, Fredrik Backman

"Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person."
– Mother Teresa

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#2 Breakthrough:

Being involved in home visits also meant that I had to learn to drive long distances on my own! I’m a bit embarrassed to admit this, but who else at 30 is still afraid of driving or filling up gas? Perhaps I’m the only one *laughs*. At the time, I thought joining the home visitation team would be great, but later I realized that most of the team involved were older, and my presence was like a beacon of hope for them. Me, a so-called young adult, couldn't possibly just sit back and let them drive me around, right? So, I had no choice but to bite the bullet! Since moving to JB, I had only driven within a 15 km radius from home. Anything beyond that, Tony would drive me, and he would always fill up the gas. But one has to learn to be independent, right?

I still remember the first time I drove to Kempas during a heavy downpour for a home visitation. With heavy rains slashing on my windscreen, and the wipers not fast enough to swipe away the rain, I had to squint really hard at the road to make out a faint outline of the path. I honestly felt like crying, but there was no time for that!! I just held back my damn tears and drove until I reached my destination. With a few more practices here and there, over time, I got more used to driving. Now, I can drive a 30-minute journey to drop Kopi off at the pet sitter’s house without my heart racing like Formula 1. Although I’m still afraid to drive super long distances (like back to Seremban), at least now I can drive myself out to buy Chagee, get a haircut, and occasionally even fill up my own gas (though Tony still helps most of the time). Being independent and not adding extra burden on Tony (who has enough on his plate already), is something I really like about myself (besides me being pretty hahaha!)

"The longer you wait on those steps”—she motions toward the tower—“the greater your fear has a chance to grow. Cross the parapet before the terror owns you."
– Fourth Wing, Rebecca Yarros

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#3 Breakthrough:

I finally joined a cell group! *throws confetti with all the hurrays* I had always wanted to join one, but my church is so big I didn’t know who I could ask or reach out to. But thanks to the lovely people I met in PKW, they introduced me to a church member, and tadaa! I get to meet lovely people every Thursday after work, and being able to share and encourage one another through daily reflections and testimonies, to pray together, is certainly a blessing. As happy as it seems, joining a cell group is a commitment, and I had to admit, there were times when I felt like staying home too — times when work got a little overwhelming, or when Tony wanted a break to play basketball *flips eyeball*, or when I myself wanted a break to watch TV *haha*. But that’s okay. I hope I can commit, but I don’t want cell group meetings to become a new burden too. I want to enjoy every single moment of it and not be too hard on myself (or on Tony, haha!). As usual, I'll take it one step at a time.

"Faith, in the sense in which I am here using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods."
– C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

You give and take away

But my heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

😇

“Courage, dear heart.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader