Dear Ginger

Ever since our old beagle died, a hole was left in our hearts. For months we ached over his lost, but still that hole in our hearts was never really patched up, because we knew, because all dog lovers knew, that there's this hole in our soul that could only be filled by the love of a dog.

One day, we came across a magazine of a pet shop advertising dogs. That day itself, we took a trip to that very pet shop, saying that we would just take a look. Just a look. We walked up the narrow steps and came up to a room with lots of stacked up cages. There we saw your friends, being cruelly squashed in small cages, lying helplessly on the cage floor. We took a closer look at a few. Some of your friends had contracted serious skin disease, some were lying in piles of their own poops, with houseflies swirling around them . Your friends were big, mostly aging around 5 months to 1 year old. The person in charge told us that you all were leftover dogs that humans did not want. If nobody would purchase by then, you all would be sent to the breeders for breeding purposes. Right then, I thought, humans were indeed the most selfish creatures on earth. 

We took a small tour around the room, and finally found you in a corner. You stood up slowly, took a few steps back and hunched up your shoulders. Your eyes looked into ours, never breaking contact. You looked afraid. Our eyes lingered on you for a few minutes, then we left. I could still remember seeing you pressing your face against the glass wall, staring at us as we made our way back down. It was as if you were trying to tell us something. As if you wanted us to save you out of this nightmare. That day, we went back home with heavy hearts. We could not forget the look in your eyes. We did some research on your breed-bulldogs. We had many concerns, that you were big, that you could not be tamed, that you would attack. 

Where we first met

The next day, we came back to the pet shop. Papa broke his all-along principle, that he only wanted males. Yes, you were the first female dog we ever had. As the caretaker handed you over to us, all of us froze in our spot. Everyone was afraid to reach out to take you, with your wrinkly face and visible fangs, you did look scary to us back then. Only later did we know that behind that wrinkly scary face, you have a sweet, gentle soul. I remembered that I was the first one to reach out and hold you. Not that I wasn't afraid, but because I told Jesus that you were our sweet baby, that even if you were to attack, everything would still be fine in the end. That I would still recover from injury. So I braced for your attack, accepted the fact that I might be bitten, and reached out my hand. You did not attack, did not bite, you bowed your head and looked away, looking very much afraid. That was the first time I petted you. You were 5 months' old back then. 

Your skinny puppy look

You snuggling with dajie when you just arrived

You made your way cautiously around our house, sniffing every nook and cranny. That was your first house tour. You went to the backyard, saw a slipper lying on the floor and picked it up in your mouth. Instinctively, all of us screamed "NO!". That scream was too loud, you were startled and scared. You dropped the slipper and ran into a corner. That was the first time my heart broke a little. We had over reacted because of the past experiences we had with your brother. He was a perfect destroyer, destroying everything in his touch. We thought that all dogs were the same then. But you proved us wrong. 

You were that dog who loved all fruits.

Your all time favourite- durian!

You were the most obedient baby we ever had. From the moment you joined us as part of our family, you never really destroyed anything. The only thing that you did destroy was that blue slipper, that was your favorite. You only picked that to nibble and chew when you were bored, and we let you. You were very obedient, you only picked that blue slipper which you knew was yours, sparing the rest. Because of your obedience, you slowly earned our trust, and we began to allow you to roam freely in the house, to sleep in the house at night, even allowing you to stay in when we went out--a privilege your billy brother never had. It broke my heart a little, that you were so obedient, but that we never trained you on this. How much sufferings and nightmares had you been through back in that cage, that you knew the rules of surviving in the human world?

A video of you swinging your blue slipper

You hated bath time.
You would always run and hide in your kennel or
every possible corner you could squeeze into.
Papa and mon mon used a lot of energy and effort to drag you out.

Your two slaves in charged of your bathing time

Rubbing you down with your towel after bath time.
We use the hairdryer to blow-dry your fur too.
You enjoyed it!

You were the most playful baby. You liked all the rough activities. Your favorite was wrestling. Two of your most favorite wrestlers were papa and mon mon. Each time they came home, you would bounce your way to them and quickly start your wrestling game.  Did you know that papa fractured his leg and had plasters for a week? Because you were too excited in the wrestling game, you broke the chair leg he was sitting on. But we never blamed you, so please don't blame yourself too. Your strength and your happiness was what made us happy too. 

Wrestling game going strong

You were the best wrestler. Nobody could win you.

You with papa, your wrestler number 2

Your love for balls was extreme. You had always wanted to join in the game when you saw any of us holding balls or when mon mon was practicing throws. We did not let you, because you would get too excited and jump on anything nearby, which in your case, you successfully drew three beautiful lines over my dad's favorite Picanto with your long nails. You did not give up. You would stare at the storeroom or the bathroom door for ages-- those are the places we hid the ball. We did not want to let you down and ended up giving you mon mon's basketball to play, which you successfully deflated within a few hours. Hello, that's thick leather! Ever since that, you never had basketball, because we were worried that your tiny jaw would hurt. You had new best friends later- hello kitty, iron man, winnie the pooh, squeaky bunny and squeaky drumstick. That squeaky drumstick became your new favourite.

You with your favourite squeaky drumstick

You just love everything that squeaks

You finally get to play basketball.

 You deflated it. But it's okay, cuz we love you so much.

Your best plushy friends.

You were that stubborn bully with a really strong head. You often used your head to smash your way out, and when we stood in your way, accidentally blocking you, you would smash us out of your way, sending us flying. All with your little strong head. Soon, we learnt to not stand in your way. We quickly gave way when we saw you coming. But please don't be sad, because we truly enjoyed every single minute of this. You were the queen of this house, it is only appropriate that we made way for the queen.

You looking fed up with that antisocial girl

Still looking fed-up 

And do you know, you were the sweetest baby ever? We had had a few dogs before you, but you were the most affectionate and lovable baby anyone could ever have. You loved cuddles, hugs and kisses. You would cuddle and snuggle and lick us lovingly when we sat down on the floor. You were so so sticky and gluey, that you would shadow us wherever we go. Even when mummy was cooking in the kitchen, you would squeeze your way in between her legs and camp there until mummy finished cooking.  I could still remember how you felt, the warmth of your body pressing into me, your fury body leaning against me.  I would run my fingers into your fury soft body, sniff that special doggy smell of yours and ended up with furs showering my jeans, and and and you would always turn your butt around, asking for your favorite butt massage. Butt massages means more fur showers and vacuuming the floor after, so I'd always given you a short 5 seconds massage and told you that's enough. You love bear hugs too. Each time I gave you a big bear hug, you would smuggle-smash your face into mine, in which I'd always push you away, complaining that your breath stinks and even told you to brush your teeth.  Dear sweet Ginger, ever since you joined us, the sofa was no longer our favourite place to sit, because you became our favourite squishy squashy pillow. And about how your breath and doggie smell stinks? That's not true, don't believe that. Those were the best memories we had with you.

You just love cuddles

Do you know you look so cute when you beg us for food ?

You always followed. Esp when mum does her gardening.
Then you would come back with soil all over your cute little face.

Your first CNY photo with the family this year
Missing me and noobie lucinda

You received lots of angpaus in Johor
The kids loved you!

Tong Tong and Xin Rui love you too.

You were always there at our feet when we played the piano.
We love sticky you being sticky.

With all the joy you'd bring, we couldn't bear to see you in pain. Not even a tiny bit. You were prone to heat stress, heat stroke and breathing problems because of your wrinkly crunch up face structure. The vet had always advised us to keep you out of the sun, to stay indoors with good air ventilation. Because of this, your walks had always been short. When your beagle brother could run 5 rounds around forest heights, you could only make your L-shape way from our house to the nearby playground and back, panting heavily all the way. There were a few times when we took you a little further from your routine route, you were so exhausted that you could not make it back. Mon mon had to carry you all the way home. I'm sure you enjoyed your human ride, did you? You couldn't walk far, but we still wanted you to have the chance to see the outside world, so we brought you along when we go for long road trips to JB. You had fun once during a CNY visit to JB, even received lots of angpaus stuffed with your favourite snacks. The only thing you hated during that visit was the crackers and fireworks at night.  Just two months' back, we even allowed you to sit in the passenger seat with the window winded down. You were so excited and happy, your eyes could not stop looking at the the outside world. And just this month too, papa finally allowed you to go on his precious nazaria for a short car ride.

Your first car ride at the passenger seat with your favourite wrestler.

You would not stop looking.
You were so amazed with the outside world.

Ever since that car ride, you took every opportunity you had
to scramble into the passenger seat when the car door was left open.

You had always loved sunbathing,
but you could not stay out long.
Must be hard on you.

The best time to take a photo was
when you were too exhausted after a walk.

Little did we know that this was your last car ride.

Your favourite place was the playground. That's where you could roam freely.

You were such a sweet joy, our very precious baby, that we felt easily offended when humans around you did not understand your condition. Without knowing a thing, they concluded that the condition you had was because you were just one obese dog with the lack of exercise. Dear Ginger, we'd always defended you and stood up for you. Do not believe them when they said you were fat. Remember the times when I joined in the fun and called you "fatty" too?  Don't believe that. Your weight was perfect, your health had always been good, it's the humans who did not deserve you. 

You just loved cuddles. 

Lock down with you during MCO was one of the best moments of our lives.

That was the only time we gave you all the attention for a whole day 

because everyone's at home. Thankful for mco, thankful for having you.

Sorry to force a mask on you, but you do look cute!

You won your first Christmas gift from a competition online

You with dajie, thanks to her every moment of you was recorded.

Dear sweet Ginger, we knew you'd always wanted more of the outside world, that's why you chose to sneak out at noon before the auto-gate was fully closed that day. You must have been enjoying yourself, taking your own sweet time strolling under the scorching sun. We never get to find out when you started to realize you had heat stroke, or how you slowly made your way back home asking for help. Half an hour later when they realized you had sneaked out, papa went searching for you and found you collapsed two houses away from ours, unconscious. You know papa had never really been able to carry you, but that day, he dragged and carried you all the way back home. We did not know how he did it,  but surely his heart was shattered when he found you. I only get to see a video of you suffering for 3 hours, panting and trying hard to breathe. I wished I could fly back instantly to stay by your side, but the human world had always been very complicated. Humans wouldn't accept dog visits as an excuse to leave for work. I was told that you were sent to the vet, the vet put you on drips and sent you to ICU. You even had to stay a night on your own too, were you scared like us too? I guess it was an agonizing night for both you and us, we prayed with all our might, asking God to spare you, to bring you back. You fought bravely throughout the night, but still God did not want you to suffer any further.

It broke all our hearts when we received news of your passing on 8 am, 15.4.2021. Even mama who never really liked dogs cried when you left us forever. Papa was the only one available to bury you, please forgive us humans for always being so busy with things that did not seem to matter. Papa wrapped you up in your favorite towel and buried you near your favorite playground where you used to play with the golden retriever. Your favourite uncle Budo was there to help out too. To be honest, I was shocked when I heard from papa after I finished work at 6pm. I thought you would made it, you were always so brave and stubborn, wanting your way in everything. But this time, you could not have your way, because God has a better plan for you.  

The vet said you died peacefully in your sleep

Your burial place

I still remember how we told you stories about God the creator, about how Jesus died for selfish mankind so that we could be saved, and that time when we prayed the sinner's prayer for you. Do you remember too? Now you get to see all the stories we had told you in heaven. Are there any of your favorite dental sticks in heaven? You left 3 packets here, now mon mon had to give those to your friends, Budo and Gino. It's okay, I'm sure Jesus gave you something better. You must be having a wonderful time up there, with no more sickness and no more pain, running freely under your favourite sun with no worries of getting heat stroke anymore. 

You munching on dental sticks

Dental sticks always makes your day.

I had always been fascinated at one particular passage in Revelations, where all creations come together, bow down, and worship the same God. I wonder how you look like worshiping God, did you wiggle your butt and snort in rhythm when the angels sing? Or did you prance and show your favourite wrestling show to God? Many times I wondered, that perhaps, deep in your heart, you had always known that God is the creator of all, it's just us humans who were too blind to see. 

Dear sweet Ginger, we enjoyed all the love and joy you gave us for the past 6 years. No money could ever buy back the wonderful memories we had when you were with us. You were that special baby who completely changed the world for us. Now, it's your turn to enjoy all the love and joy you have in heaven, and one day when it's our time to go back too, remember to wait for us at the door, along with your brother Billy too. 

Run freely, like how you'd always wanted to.

Dear sweet baby,
Loved you then, love you still.
Always have, always will.

💓Regret is a never ending road

💓I'm not going down that path

💓living life as it is, no regrets

Ecclesiastes 3:18-20

18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.